The Piano Ace

WHEN I was still young, we had a Yamaha electronic keyboard set up beside our TV. It wasn't anything special, really, but apparently it served our family well for more than a decade. This 'piano' was where I got my first taste of music, and it was also where I learned how to play simple songs like Little Brown Jug, Oh When The Saints, and the ever classic Do-Re-Mi. Actually, I even learned the Wedding March on that thing, and if I ever joke that I'll play at your wedding, then that would be the reason for it.

As far as formal musical education goes, I actually did take piano lessons while in elementary, although I never got to the advanced lessons. My piano teacher then was Mrs. Kallos, who was pretty nice and wasn't known for beating hands (yay!). I spent quite a lot of afternoons in her music building; however, I remember that most of it was spent playing things like mini bowling and mini billiards. Estudiantina and Barbecue Boogie were my last two recital pieces under her tutelage, both of which are pretty simple and I could still play until now.

Most of the songs I know now, however, were learned on a Casio keyboard that served me throughout my college life. It has more songs stored in it compared with our Yamaha, and there are even tutorials and 'exams' if ever I wanted to learn one of the them. Also, the keys light up in bright red whenever pressed, which is pretty cool to me. Having spent a lot of time inside a cramped dormitory room with barely anything to do, I managed to learn several simple but beautiful songs by learning and memorizing sheet music. (I still can't play while reading notes.)

Here are a couple of videos of me playing Dear You from the anime Higurashi  no Naku Koro and Not Tomorrow from the horror video game Silent Hill on my sister's Roland keyboard. 

Music has always been part of my growing up, I guess, even if I'm not really any sort of expert or prodigy in it. Still, it's fun playing and learning new songs now and again, especially now when almost everything I do lacks any sort of culture of sophistication. Huh, maybe I should learn a new song.

Revelations of the (Partially) Color Blind

Most people I know are already aware of the fact that I suffer from a partial form of color blindness. And before anyone asks, yes, such a condition does exist and I've apparently been dealing with it throughout my life since childhood. All in all, the effects of being partially colorblind--specifically deuteranomalous if I'm right--are subtler than you'd expect, but in hindsight they've given me quite the trouble for most of my schooling years up to now. It wasn't only until recent years that I realized I was even colorblind, too.

To clear things up, I can see red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet, and all the other colors; I just have trouble telling some colors apart under certain lighting conditions:

•  Playing cards in dim light, for example, has me squinting to see whether a card is black or red, that is, until I realize I'm being stupid and can just look at the suits. 
• I also have particular trouble telling apart the lightest colors (cyan, pale yellow, light green, etc.) from simple white, making me believe one time in college that I've been wearing a white long-sleeved shirt to class when it was actually blue.

I could go on all night, trying to explain just what it's like seeing through my eyes, but it would be easier to give some examples. Here are a few anecdotes I've told time and again.

Eh blue kaya!

As a child, I believed Mayon Volcano was blue.

This is one of those things that just came to me after realizing I was colorblind. I remember one incident in grade school when the students were supposed to draw something for art class, and of course, I chose the lovely volcano just outside our classroom window. Armed with pretty much the same drawing and coloring skills as I have today (none), I proceeded to create my own rendition of the poor volcano, only to be asked by a classmate why on earth I was using a rich shade of blue to color it in. Pompously, I answered "Eh blue kaya", and that was that.

Brown, Brown, Green, Gold? F*ck this, where's the VOM?

Colorblind in Electronics means lots of mini explosions.

The thingy above is called a resistor, and the colored bands are meant to denote its resistance value. Unfortunately, my groupmates never did trust me with reading the values because I always mixed up the red, black, violet, blue, green bands. (Okay, maybe all of them)    

At least now you know that if you're ever strapped to a bomb, you should never come to me to defuse it. To be fair, though, while I did cause a number of booms and bangs in laboratory, none of them were really because I was color blind. At least I think so.

My favorite mnemonic for the colors: 

Bad Boys Rape Only Young Girls But Violeta Gives Willingly Gosh Super Nyak!

Black Brown Red Orange Yellow Green Blue Violet Gray White Gold Silver NoColor

This, I hate.

I always overtitrated.

I know this blog is starting to get rather nerdy, but this is one thing that really messed with me back in college. Basically, if I remember correctly the aim was to drip one type of liquid into another drop by drop, stopping just at the moment that the fluid in the flask turns a light pink. And as we've already established earlier, I suck when it comes to distinguishing light colors. Long story short, I always ended up with a heavily pink batch of gloop and got a dismal grade for my efforts in this particular experiment.

Conclusion

In conclusion, I'm not a dog and can see colors almost the same as other people, too. Just don't trust me with cutting bomb wires, piloting a plane, or trying to see whether the hot dog you're cooking is red or a pale pink. If you want to check out for yourself whether you have wonky eyes, try the test here. If you're too lazy to do that, just look at the picture and see if you can easily see a word in the mess; if you can manage it, then you're likely colorblind like me!

  

   

Rude Rant: How to be Annoying in the MRT

HAVING recently bounced back into the world of office employment, I now once again regularly experience the wonders of Metro Manila public commute. It's not exactly one of the most enjoyable things in the world, especially since my schedule coincides perfectly with rush hour, but it does make for some really interesting anecdotes. For our MRT-riding readers here'sa rude rant about how to be the most annoying train passenger in the world.

Oh no.

You cut in front of me in line.

When I head home, I take the MRT from Ayala going northwards to Shaw Boulevard. That's only two four stations away, but if I happen to be unlucky enough to be a little late, then it's a sure bet that the line going into the station would be long, hot, and unpleasant. If you “make singit” in front of me, try to create an entirely new line, or enter the station through the “No Baggage” lane with a bagful of stuff, then you can be sure that I hate you. If it were me doing these, it's perfectly okay, but heaven forbid anyone else be impatient.

You talk obnoxiously loudly on your phone.

Assuming that there is enough space on the MRT for you to move your hand from your side up to your face (which is rare), please don't use the opportunity to talk loudly with your friend on the other side of the cellphone connection. We don't really care who's cheating on whom or why you're angry at whomever nor do we want to spend 20 minutes on the train listening to you laugh in 10 different ways without really saying anything. Don't try to talk to me either; that's weird.

Having said this, I do have to share this conversation as one of my most favorite “overheard sa LRT” experiences:

Man talking to wife:

“Mommy...”

Pause.

“Nadala ko napkin mo.”

Pause.

“Bili ka na lang ng bago.”

Stop.

I don't think the guy was ever seen again after that.

You PUSH.

In the mad scramble to get into the already crowded train, people tend to push and push hard. To an extent, I understand your urgency; I want to get home as quickly as possible too. But if you push me forward when there's no more space or I'm trying to back up for someone to get off the train, be prepared for me to push back with an elbow. We're already straining the limits of Physics by cramming too many people into a potentially deadly mode of transportation, but if there's no more space, then there's NO MORE SPACE.

You sweat waterfalls and smell “maasim”.

I wish everyone tried to freshen up a bit before getting into an MRT train. It will make the ride so much more pleasant and less nerve-wracking for everyone involved. I don't claim to smell like roses and daisies when I ride the train, but at the very least I try to wipe off my sweat before gluing my body to hundreds of other passengers. Also, I try very hard not to stick my arm pit onto someone else's face, whether I smell bad or not. Please do the same.

You complain about how crowded it is.

B*tch, take a cab. Enough said.

At the end of this day I'll be walking again towards MRT Ayala and trying to ride the train and be home by 7. Hopefully, that's enough time for everyone of my fellow passengers to read this entry and do something about their bad MRT habits. Hah, yeah right.

P.S. I'm not really sure why the first word(s) are capitalized in news article, but it's neat so I'm doing it from now on.

Sleepy Musings: What Time Is It?

Time, for me, is one of the most interesting quandaries of the universe. On one hand, it's so fleeting, always inching forward on an endless reel of life and death. It's a force that simply keeps on moving, and try as we might to hinder it, we can never keep the seconds from turning into minutes, minutes into hours, and the hours inevitably turning into an unfathomable eternity.

Time is also absolute. It progresses but never changes; it moves and yet doesn't seem to go anywhere. It passes by and leaves snapshots of the past, writing an eternal record of circumstances that we can look back on but never alter. Sometimes we realize  that each moment that expires is ultimately set in stone,  and when this happens we are attacked by a wave of nostalgia-slash-regret that makes us wish that it really was as simple as turning back the hands of a clock.

To say the least, it's confusing. We look forward and see seconds that we wish to catch up to, and yet we turn around to see the very same seconds already left behind. The definitions of our past, present, and future get blurred and jumbled to the point that we don't even know when we're living anymore. This sentence you're reading, for example, is already part of my past and yet to me it's something I'm still writing and rewriting at this very moment. No, wait. Perhaps it's the future that's already come to pass?

I realize, then, how lucky we are that humans don't have the attention span to really stop and try to comprehend everything around us. Otherwise, we might all frozen in place by now, overwhelmed by the understanding of the sheer complexity of a seemingly simply concept such as time. As it is now, we have many questions but not quite a lot of answers, and that's okay. 

Time, for me, is one of the most interesting quandaries of the universe. An hour ago I didn't really expect to be writing anything philosophical/scientific/bullshitty, but look where I am now. Of course, I could always just delete this or let it sit in my tablet forever, but ultimately the decison is mine to make. In any case, there's no turning back. 

I’m Throwing Away My Laptop

I've gotten to digging around  my old writings again and I found one feature piece I wrote almost 2 years ago. So far I like what I've written, but then again I'm completely biased. To the few who read our blog, what do you think of me as a feature writer for the broad sheets? Enjoy!
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I’m Throwing Away My Laptop—#lolnotreally

I remember when I was still a child. It was a time when even black and white television was entertaining to me and cell phones and the Internet were still but promises of the future. Back then, there was no such thing as cyber media, and global communication was very limited.  If you wanted to know the news you would have had to read the newspaper or watch television religiously to know what was going on. Missed news was “forgotten news”, unless of course the rumor mill was still having fun keeping the buzz alive. People’s lifestyles were simpler.  

That was a decade and a half ago. Nowadays, you wouldn’t even have much of a choice as old media and cyber media practically shove information down your throats. With all of the alternative media popping up it has become a question of how you will find out and no longer if you will find out. At first it was a breakthrough; suddenly, everyone was more aware of the world and what was happening. As time passed, however, the internet and social media has given people a deep sense of morbid fascination. Once you’ve watched a tsunami ravage a technologically-advanced country in YouTube, you can’t resist but watch it over and over again, and in HD, too.

On one hand, new media have done wonders for communication all throughout the world. Families, friends, and even complete strangers are now able to share stories, opinions, and experiences through Yahoo Messaging, Twitter, Skype, Facebook, and countless other ways. Global support can also be called upon in times of disaster, letting people from all over the world help out in the comfort of their own homes. In times when mere seconds can decide the life and death of human beings, readily and conveniently accessible information is Godsend.  In this regard, technology is an invaluable asset which has saved and changed many lives.

 On the other hand, any kind of information, whether it is an irrelevant update on Prince William’s receding hairline or a new sex scandal of a famous celebrity, is accessible to anyone who has a computer or a reasonably-capable handheld. Because of this, many people, from juvenile preteens up to cyber-literate senior citizens have developed this outrageous sense of curiosity which often knows no bounds. It is one thing to be informed of the killings, the scandals, and all the injustice in the world. It is another thing entirely to feed off the bad news by “raping the replay button” in YouTube. In a way, it is voyeuristic.

The world has developed and continues to develop at a rapid pace. At some point in the past decade, being informed has suddenly become a synonym for being desensitized to brutality. Censorship has also taken on a looser meaning as more and more children get exposed to news they are not mature enough for. When did the development of technology start to make it okay for people to sell DVD copies of the Japan tsunami? When did being famous start to mean that you have no privacy?  At what point will we stop and realize that we’ve already taken a step too far?In the course of writing this, I’ve read about workers in Japan expecting to die because of radiation, I’ve watched a spoof about twin babies supposedly talking about political issues in Libya, and I’ve read a new tweet by a famous international star who was recently axed from his show. Undeniably, I am guilty of every accusation I have dished out so far. Really, though, who isn’t these days?

The information superhighway was one of the most brilliant inventions of the human race, and with it, came endless possibilities alongside many drawbacks. With technology already so closely intertwined with the world’s daily routine, it is practically impossible to imagine living without it. Sometimes, though, when the news spews out one horrifying tale after another, when morality becomes a vague concept through an LCD screen, and when people don’t know when to just stop clicking away, you have to wonder. Are we really the masters of technology, or are we actually the slaves? #deep           

Some Reasons NOT to Read Fanfiction

For all those who have loved a book, a TV show, or a movie so much that they didn't want the stories to end, there is a world called fanfiction where both the best and the worst writers come together. Personally, I've read quite a few stories myself and have a lot of times been impressed with how creative fans could be and how they could weave stories that are sometimes even better than the originals.

However, anyone who has read fanfiction will tell you that for every one great story there are about a hundred horrible, pluck-your-eyes-out fanfics, and it can often get so frustrating that you just want to  take your computer and chuck it out the window. In light of this fact, I have put together a few good reasons NOT to read fanfiction. 

Close your windows; secure your devices; and hold on tight.

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Fanfiction is a melting pot for the worst spelling and grammatical errors ever. This makes for the funniest lines and the biggest headaches.

I admit that I can be very meticulous when it comes to spelling mistakes and grammatical errors--of others, that is--but fanfiction is a whole different level. You either have to learn how to live with it, or stop reading fanfiction entirely, because while a lot of authors write well and will make the effort to proofread, most of them won't even bother. In fact, you'd swear these people make mistakes on purpose just to make your eye twitch. Here are a few examples:

• "People's lives are at steak as is the fate of this country, our country." Mmm, steak!
• "Everything was quite." Quite what? QUITE WHAT?!
• " 'You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton p- video made from your shower scene and being vued by Snap and Loopin.' Who MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong) to it he added silently." I don't even...*gives up*...Nope, dat is not speld rong at oll. Gud job Harry Potter fanfiction writer.

My suggestion? This:

RUN M*****F****** RUN!

Still, you'd have to hand it to people, because I have read some of the world's funniest lines ever while skimming through random stories. Here are some of them:

• "Shepard now struggled with his bowels, having to make the most difficult decision his long and eventful military career had submitted." 
• "Oh! My panties are still in the elevator."
• "YES!!! MY SWEET MEAT PRODUCT! YOU ARE MINE, ALL MINE!" 

Just three examples. I'm lazy like that.

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You'll know you're in for a ride when the author's notes starts of with this:

    

Rated R for strong adult language, sex, violence and blood content. 

And ends with this:

********************QUOTE********************
AGAIN AS A FINAL WARNING: THIS STORY CONTAINS HEAVY SEX, ABULT LANGUAGE AND TALKS ABOUT MY PERSONAL ENCOUNTER WITH LINK. THIS STORY IS BASED ON DREAMS, DREAMS ABOUT MY LIFE WITH HIM. IF YOU FIND THE CONTENT OF THIS STORY TO BE OFFENSEVE, QUEER, OR PLAIN OUT OFF THE WALL, THEN DO NOT READ ON!!!!!!! I HAVE GOTTEN WAY TO MANY FLAMES ABOUT THE CONTENT OF THIS STORY WHEN I HAVE PLACED SEVERAL WARNINGS!!!! I WILL NOT ACCECPT (Reading this out loud sounds like clearing up phlegm.) ANY MORE FLAMES, RAMBLINGS, CUSSING OR EXCESSIVE LASHING OUT ABOUT THE CHAR JENNA, OR REVIEWS ABOUT THE CONTENT OF THIS STORY, EXCESSIVE LASHING OUT, VICIOUS ATTACKS AGAINST MY PERSONALITY, OR NON-MATURE CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISIM (But it's constructive! ^_^ )!!! ANY REVIEWS SUBMITTED THAT DO NOT FOLLOW THE ABOUVE GUIDLINES, WILL BE DELETED IMMEDIATELY! THESE WARNINGS ARE NOT THERE TO LOOK PRETTY (You got that right.), THE AUTHORS PLACE WARNINGS FOR A REASON!!! IT IS TO TELL YOU WHAT THE CONTENT OF THE STORY IS SO THAT IF THE READER FINDS THE CONTENT OF THE STORY OFFENSIVE, THEY WILL NOT READ ON!!! <CUT>

..BLAH BLAH BLAH... Something about not forcing people to read at gun point...Mentions of RESOPONSIBILITY... More ranting... By now, the author already probably looks like this:

<AAAND RESUME> IT’S A DAMN SHAME TO KNOW THAT THERE ARE ADULTS OUT THERE WHO CANNOT CONDUCTIVE (As opposed to insulative, I guess?) THEMSELVES IN THE SIMPLEST MANORS (Shame on them! Those manors are EXPENSIVE!) THEIR PARENTS HAVE TAUGHT THEM! ALSO LEAVING MALICIOUS REVIEWS IS ALSO A SIGN OF LOW SELF-ESTEEM. IF ALL YOU PEOPLE KNOW HOW DO IS ATTACK SOMEONE VICIOUSLY (Say what?), IT’S A SIGN OF SELFISHNESS AND NO RESPECT FOR ONES-SELF! I SUGGEST TO ALL READERS WHO ARE THINKING ABOUT LEAVING A MALICIOUS REVIEW FOR ME, PLEASE GET A HOBBY AND LEARN TO CONTROL YOUR ANGER(And the irony award goes to...), BECAUSE YOUR ONLY HURTING YOURSELF, NOT ME! ALSO LEAVING A NASTY REVIEW ONLY MAKES YOU LOOK STUPID (This is true, actually.), NOT ME!

I FIND IT VERY RIDICULOUS THAT I HAD TO LEAVE A WARNING THIS LONG, BUT IT IS BECAUSE OF THE VERY IMMATURE READERS THAT HAVE SUBMITTED NASTY CHILDISH REVIEWS!

AGAIN, PLEASE READ THE ABOVE CONTEXT BEFORE READING ON!!!!

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And so on, and so on. No, really. There's more. I find it funny because with all the time and effort the anonymous author put into making this, there's a good chance that he/she just received even more hateful reviews. I didn't even read past the author's notes and I felt like leaving a bad review. The entire internet is a playground for immature kids, you know.

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50 Shades of Grey.

If you haven't read it yet, I suggest you try reading it. No wait, I dare you to try reading it. So far I can't really bash it properly seeing as I haven't even read any book from the trilogy (Yes, trilogy. I know.), but from what I heard from a friend and some random quotes I saw online, the book is pretty sick. Depending on your book taste and how you define the word "sick", this can either be a good thing or a bad thing. You want to know what I heard about this book series? I heard that if you made a movie out of it you've basically made porn. BDSM porn.

Seriously, though. 50 Shades of Grey is a book that came from a piece of fanfiction that was based on the bad-book-turned-bad-movie TWILIGHT. Now, I have to admit that this book sounds completely different from its inspiration, but honestly it doesn't really sound better, just a completely different kind of bad. Don't take my word for it, though. Everything above comes from someone who has not read one page of 50 Shades-anything, which means I could be right on the money or way way off . You read it and tell me how it is because it doesn't look like I'll be reading this trilogy because of this little spoiler:

"Christian pulls Ana’s bloody tampon out of HER ACTUAL BODY before boning." 

Talk about 50 Shades of GROSS.

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As a conclusion, I feel that it's necessary to point out that the fanfiction world is a great way to read awesome, creative stories and get to know fellow writers. It's just that sometimes, you could land yourself in the bad part of fanfiction and are exposed to absolutely atrocious grammar, meaningless (take note of this descriptor) erotic literature, and crazy, schizophrenic authors. I know this because I've been to that area, and it's one place in the web that a normal person wouldn't particularly enjoy being in. 

Now I don't know how to end this, so here's a GIF on how to properly use chopsticks instead. I hope you learn something, because I sure did. o_O

Before the Internet, There Were Books

Being a huge nerd and bookworm, reading has always been one of my favorite pastimes, and books are something that I've always felt I had something relevant to say about. And seeing as Pearl did a music-themed post, I thought I would answer back with a post about my most recommended reads. To our readers who know how to enjoy a good book now and again, here are five of my most favorite books/book series that I would very much suggest reading. Enjoy!

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“It's impossible to go through life unscathed. Nor should you want to. By the hurts we accumulate, we measure both our follies and our accomplishments.” 
― Christopher Paolini, Inheritance

The Inheritance Cycle, in my opinion, is one of the best book series there is in the fantasy genre. At first glance it really just sounds like your typical story with magic, elves, dwarves, and a young unlikely hero destined to save the world from an evil king. However, read a little more and you would eventually realize that this world is entirely separate from LOTR or any other fantasy series you can think of, sporting its own fascinating rules on allegiance and the power of simple words. Really, this is one of those "you'd have to read it yourself" cases, because I cannot and will not try to condense four great books into a short, terrible summary.

Why I recommend it:

Anyone one who knows me would know that fantasy stories are some of my most favorite books to read. I first bought Eragon on a whim in high school and have since the first page been hooked into this whole new world that is Alagaesia. More than just an amazing read, though, the Inheritance Cycle, or more specifically Christopher Paolini, is one of the biggest inspirations to me because he has accomplished something that I could only ever hope to do. Paolini first wrote Eragon when he was just 15 years old; by 19, he was already an internationally acclaimed author. 4 books later and he has finished his "practice book" as well as cemented himself as one of the best fantasy authors in the world, showing that you can be successful at any age if you just have skills and determination. For anyone who wants some writing tips and tricks, you can see him sharing his experiences on Twitter with the handle InheritanceCP.

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“A man is not idle because he is absorbed in thought. There is visible labor and there is invisible labor.” 
― Victor Hugo, Les Misérables

I remember calling Les Miserables as the first ever romance book that I really enjoyed reading. I don't even know where to begin trying to make a summary of this story, because it is so complex and expertly weaved together that each character has a great story to tell on his own. I would say that this book is all about love: patriotic love for country, the pure love of a mother, fearless love for God, the powerful love between two paired souls, and even a twisted love for justice that could end up corrupting a man. Love, yeah, let's go with that.

Why I recommend it: 

Veering away from my terrible attempt at summarizing this classic, I recommend reading Les Miserables because it is brilliant, simple as that. I confess that the book I borrowed from a friend stayed for quite a few months inside my backpack, but when I eventually got down to reading through it, I found myself awed and genuinely touched. Believe you me, you'll get emotional too when you read of *spoiler* how an abused little girl gets her first real doll.*end spoiler* Having said this, I suggest reading the unabridged version because from what I've read, there are a lot of good bits removed in the abridged version.

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“How terribly sad it was that people are made in such a way that they get used to something as extraordinary as living.” 
― Jostein Gaarder, The Solitaire Mystery

The Solitaire Mystery follows the story of a young boy and his dad as they trek across Europe in search of the little boy's mother. Along the way, the boy receives a tiny book baked inside a sticky bun, which relates a colorful tale involving fate, rainbow fishes, and a particularly temperamental deck of cards. How these all tie up together with reality is the real mystery, and what an exciting mystery it is! 

Why I recommend it: 

Gaarder shows just how clever he is by weaving together this impressive story-within-a-story-within-a-story book. In contrast to Sophie's World, this is less of a history-slash-philosophy lesson and more of a fun puzzle to tear apart and put together. My warning to you is that it can get pretty confusing, especially when you miss out on little details that matter later on in the story. Well worth it, though!

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“I think there's just one kind of folks. Folks.” 
― Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird

This book is definitely my favorite classic out of them all. In this coming-of-age story, readers get to look through the eyes of Jean Louis "Scout" Finch and see how she grows up along  with her brother Jem in a world full of mysterious neighbors, widespread racism, and an ultimately flawed justice system. To kill a mockingbird is a sin, the reader will ultimately learn, because mockingbirds don't really do anything except to make music and "sing their hearts out to us".

Why I recommend it:

I don't know how Harper Lee did it, but she made me feel incredibly nostalgic about a childhood that I didn't really experience. Her story telling is so genuine and timeless that whether you read this tomorrow or 50 years from now, you would always be taken back to the past where being colored is a bigger crime than rape and child abuse. This book shares great morals on being equal, having integrity, and all in all just being decent human beings no matter what day and age you may have been born in. If you haven't read it yet, do it now.

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“And so the lion fell in love with the lamb..." he murmured.
I looked away, hiding my eyes as I thrilled to the word.
What a stupid lamb," I sighed.
What a sick, masochistic lion.” 
― Stephenie Meyer, Twilight

Ahhh, Twilight. With the movie series just coming to an end, I figured it would be apt for me to add this particular book series to this list. This book is included for the simple fact that I want people to realize one thing: if Stephanie Meyer managed to get rich out of something like Twilight, then there's hope for anyone out there who has a half-baked idea and a reliable spell checker.  This and this alone makes Meyer a very inspirational person, because despite how many people absolutely hate Twilight, Meyer's still probably laughing along wiping her butt with dollar bills. What do you haters say now?

Why I recommend it:

I DON'T. For the record, I actually have read the series--skimmed, to be more accurate-- so I can talk smack about it all I want. Bella is so whiny in the first book that I actually got drunk reading a few chapters (yay puns!), and it didn't really pick up from there. Let's not even talk about how the ending to this series was the most boring, anti-climactic scene I've ever read, and that's saying something because it had to go against the encyclopedia for that distinction. I'm just bashing now, yes, but Meyer turned vampires, one of the toughest, meanest monsters in the world into shiny, sparkling fairies. This is UNFORGIVABLE. 

Also, 50 Shades of Grey. Enough said.

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Do you have any suggestions for a good (or bad) read? Feel free to comment, like, share on Facebook, or something. In fact, please do. (^(oo)^)