Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Rude Rant: How to be Annoying in the MRT

HAVING recently bounced back into the world of office employment, I now once again regularly experience the wonders of Metro Manila public commute. It's not exactly one of the most enjoyable things in the world, especially since my schedule coincides perfectly with rush hour, but it does make for some really interesting anecdotes. For our MRT-riding readers here'sa rude rant about how to be the most annoying train passenger in the world.

Oh no.
You cut in front of me in line.

When I head home, I take the MRT from Ayala going northwards to Shaw Boulevard. That's only two four stations away, but if I happen to be unlucky enough to be a little late, then it's a sure bet that the line going into the station would be long, hot, and unpleasant. If you “make singit” in front of me, try to create an entirely new line, or enter the station through the “No Baggage” lane with a bagful of stuff, then you can be sure that I hate you. If it were me doing these, it's perfectly okay, but heaven forbid anyone else be impatient.

You talk obnoxiously loudly on your phone.

Assuming that there is enough space on the MRT for you to move your hand from your side up to your face (which is rare), please don't use the opportunity to talk loudly with your friend on the other side of the cellphone connection. We don't really care who's cheating on whom or why you're angry at whomever nor do we want to spend 20 minutes on the train listening to you laugh in 10 different ways without really saying anything. Don't try to talk to me either; that's weird.

Having said this, I do have to share this conversation as one of my most favorite “overheard sa LRT” experiences:

Man talking to wife:



“Nadala ko napkin mo.”


“Bili ka na lang ng bago.”


I don't think the guy was ever seen again after that.


In the mad scramble to get into the already crowded train, people tend to push and push hard. To an extent, I understand your urgency; I want to get home as quickly as possible too. But if you push me forward when there's no more space or I'm trying to back up for someone to get off the train, be prepared for me to push back with an elbow. We're already straining the limits of Physics by cramming too many people into a potentially deadly mode of transportation, but if there's no more space, then there's NO MORE SPACE.

You sweat waterfalls and smell “maasim”.

I wish everyone tried to freshen up a bit before getting into an MRT train. It will make the ride so much more pleasant and less nerve-wracking for everyone involved. I don't claim to smell like roses and daisies when I ride the train, but at the very least I try to wipe off my sweat before gluing my body to hundreds of other passengers. Also, I try very hard not to stick my arm pit onto someone else's face, whether I smell bad or not. Please do the same.

You complain about how crowded it is.

B*tch, take a cab. Enough said.

At the end of this day I'll be walking again towards MRT Ayala and trying to ride the train and be home by 7. Hopefully, that's enough time for everyone of my fellow passengers to read this entry and do something about their bad MRT habits. Hah, yeah right.

P.S. I'm not really sure why the first word(s) are capitalized in news article, but it's neat so I'm doing it from now on.

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